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Take a Break is what I do when I am very stressed. This is a place for me where I can write anything to help me express more what I feel and share it with you. I take a break and write! Take a break and read!

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Friday, February 19, 2010

my father's dream


To Be or Not To Be a Writer

Writing was a passion in my youth days. I have a repertory of interests in sports, adventures, politics, religion and other topics of human interests. This was gained through my travels and personal experiences. I used to spend hours in writing until my fingers felt a painful spasmodic cramps.

But it was only that, I wrote only as a way of expressing myself, nothing else. The pieces I wrote usually ended in the trash without even read by another person. There was no form in it as I have no formal training acquired from school. To enhance my skill, I study Journalism and Story Writing through a correspondence school. Though it was a distant study, I felt I can acquire the tools for a good writer.

True enough, after 3 years of intermittent studies in Journalism, I tried my hand in writing. I was determined even though I have a tremendous handicap in my typing. My fingers were too shaky because as a martial arts practitioner, my hands were trained to hit heavy punching bags and other hard objects. This became a deficiency. But my determination at that time was so strong notwithstanding this setback. I wrote countless of articles which were submitted to various publications but none were accepted or even considered. Slowly, my enthusiasm for writing began to fade until it died. That was 20 years ago. I have resigned to the fact that my skill was not enough to be an accomplish writer.

Now, I received a joke. My daughter Sheryl phoned me to prepare my resume and to make 3 articles of any topic. And she wanted it fast. I don’t have any idea where she is going to submit it but it was as if she was certain I can do it. I was dumbed for a while because my first reaction was that, there’s no way I can ever do it. If I was not able to do it while I was still young and full of vigorous ideas, the more I can not do by now that I’m already 50 years of age. It is an obvious futile attempt for the second time. My long years of inactivity in this matter has compiled an enormous stack of rusts in my system. I likened myself to an engine that has been laid aside for a long time that the only remaining usage is to bring it to the junkyard for a scrap. My reply to my daughter was that 99.9 percent I can not do it. So I don’t want the pain of frustrations that I suffered 20 years ago to resurrect to a more degree of anguish than before. But she was persistent.

A long hours of soul searching and meditation lead me to a passage of the Holy Scriptures in Mt 13:31-32; the Parable of the Mustard Seed. In that, I realized that God needs only .1 percent of my faith to succeed. I also marveled at my daughter’s faith on me and this was the deciding factor for me to shake off the rusts in my imaginations and try writing one more time.

Like an athlete who will always have the difficulty of getting back in shape after a long period of inactivity, I am also struggling in many aspects of what is to be a writer. My passion for writing is now about to resurrect and if given the chance, I vowed to write and write until my fingers and hands have the strength to do it and until my brain will receive the oxygen to fan my imaginations.

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